We'll Keep the White Flag Flying.

[sussexpob]

Sorry to get geography geek on you, but I think the two cities that are windiest are Punta Arenas and Puerto Natales in Southern Chile. Wellington sits below the 40 degree south parallel, and as such is much windier than Chicago due to the fact that it lies in an almost continues line of sea across the width of the globe, and wind speed is affected by the colder climates the nearer to the pole you get. But the two Chilean cities lie on the west of the Andes range below the 50th parallel south, and the wind comes in from the Pacific ocean. From Torres del Paine to the Atlantic is only, say 100 miles or possibly less, and that is the only land that cuts the 50th parallel north of the Antarctic continent. As such, the wind is pure insanity.

I know this from first hand experience. In the summer months the afternoon westerly winds are so bad in Punta Arenas, they had to connect all the houses with ropes, and the locals clamp themselves like rock climbers to it, so when the hurricane winds come on a daily basis, they dont get swept away.

I was climbing in the Vallee Frances just north of there, and I saw another climbers 40kg pack get blown about 20 meters away in a wind gust when he took it off.

[Arthur Crabtree]

I heard that Chicago was known as the 'windy city' because of some incidence of cowardice in its history. Rather than it being that blowy.

Certainly no one goes to Wellington without an into-the-wind plan.

Probably just as well Chile don't play the game.

[Durhamfootman]

feel free to get all geography on me, SP, it's why I asked the question.

I didn't know that about Chicago

[GGAS]

One that stands out for me is the test against the windies in '09 in I think Jamaica, where Taylor took 5-11 and we were bowled out for 50. That was a trouncing against a team with no more than a few stand out players.

But yes, long list...

[Arthur Crabtree]

Next one after I finish my exercises. Back to 1986.

[Durhamfootman]

I was wondering where in the 20 having to call up a 42 year old batsman, padding out his shirt with a dozen copies of the Sydney Herald, and sending him out to face possibly the fastest bowler of all time ("that's not going to save you, Fatso"), while the rest of the team hid behind the sofa, would fit..... then realised that this thread starts from 4 years later.

[Arthur Crabtree]

No can do. Starting in 1978. But a good shout. One of those Dunkirk occasions, dressing up a defeat as a win. Like Close at Old Trafford.

[Arthur Crabtree]

19. England v India at Headingley, Leeds. June, 1986.

India won by 279 runs.

When England went to Australia for the 1986-7 Ashes, they took with them the can't bat-can't bowl-can't field squad. That assessment wasn't just a memorable soundbite that would echo down the years. And it isn't realistic to suggest that England proved Martin Johnson wrong when they won their last Ashes for 18 years that winter. Australia were the only team they were beating around then. Either side of that series they were whitewashed in the West Indies, lost at home to New Zealand, and home and way to Pakistan and...

And they lost 2-0 at home in a three Test series to India in the summer of 1986. India won their first ever Lord's Test in the series opener with their hosts led by David Gower, who was then sacked by Peter May, allowing the dilettante left hander to devote more time to the theatre. England selectors had great belief in the magical powers of the captaincy back then and they gave the job to Mike Gatting, fresh from a duck at Lord's.

For many years Mike Gatting was selected by England as an article of faith, like packing a bible for a sea journey around the Cape. It famously took him 31 Tests to score a ton. By 1986, eight years into his England career, he had scored... two tons. He was made captain when he had a batting average of 35.6, a little better than the one he retired on. By 1990, when he began to give the impression that his long apprenticeship was beginning to bear meagre fruit, he captained a rebel tour to South Africa, apparently under the impression he had been badly treated by the England selectors. He returned to be offered his place back in the side and was eventually given an honorary office post by the MCC and awarded an OBE.

At Lord's, England were scattered by an Indian medium pacer called Chetan Sharma. For Headingley, England stocked up on traditional virtues of English seam and picked John Lever, Graham Dilley and Leeds specialist Derek Pringle. Who were outbowled by Roger Binny who took 7-58, supported by Madan Lal. England were dismissed for 102 and 128.

It is true that India were a decent side, with strong batters, and Dilip Vengsarkar left a lasting impression with a century in both of the first two Tests. But these were early summer, seam friendly conditions in Leeds. England were destroyed in the most familiar and advantageous circumstances possible, against a side who had only won a single Test in this country before (in late August, 1971, at the Oval where the great Indian spinners were rampant). This was a completely different level of humiliation.

Perhaps even more irritatingly, once the series was lost, Gatting made 183* in a dead rubber at the Oval. Having won the Ashes that winter, Gatting lost the job in 1988, not for lack of runs, or for abusing a Pakistani umpire, but for entering the room of a Nottingham barmaid late at night.

http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/match/63433.html

[sussexpob]

Nice piece Arthur. Dont know about this series, good summary.

I thought though that with the year 1987, and the mention early of gatting, that you were going to talk about the embarrassment to cricket which is Joe Gatting. It was when he was born

[Arthur Crabtree]

Thanks. A few facts.

Most runs for England in defeats: Alec Stewart, 2993 (Cook is second about 200 behind).

Most defeats as captain: Mike Atherton, 21 (Cook is next on 20).

Most defeats as a player: Stewart on 54 (Cook is next on 44).

Most hundreds in defeat: Alan Lamb, 6.

Most wickets in defeat: Ian Botham, 107 (second Anderson, 103, third Broad, 96).

[rich1uk]

hopefully not pre-empting too much of your picks AC but my contribution to this thread isn't a single game but the last World Cup as a whole

after a disappointing World Cup in 2011 we had supposedly identified a number of areas to improve in but instead of following through with those changes we ended up going in to 2015 making most of the same mistakes and if anything to a greater degree

shambles over the captaincy with Cook's stubbornness about his inclusion and no-one having the bottle to drop him until it probably did more harm than good, going into the tournament with no clear idea of our best team and bringing back players who had already failed previosuly rather than embracing the new generation of limited overs players

just ended up being a thoroughly miserable experience as a whole and when we made the sort of changes afterwards and saw an almost overnight improvement it just emphasised what might have been

[Arthur Crabtree]

The last one was the most dismal WC of all, I think. Including a pretty horrible year leading up to it. And since the early nineties they've all been dismal. Have to give Moores the most credit for that one.

Only got Tests in my list though.

[Arthur Crabtree]

18. England v India at Lord's, London. July, 2014.

India won by 95 runs.

What a glum summer 2014 was for long term England sufferers. The sunny months when Giles Clarke told the England supporters that they were 'outside cricket' and should 'pipe down' and support the team. Paul Downton was given the job of making a bad situation worse, which was fortunate for him as it seemed that it was the only job he was qualified to do and it was well paid. And the ECB applied a coat of whitewash across the faces of everyone by telling followers to keep out of their business and devising a photoshoot in which struggling but photogenic captain Alastair Cook had his hair cut.

In the backdraw of their Ashes whitewash and subsequent scapegoating of Kevin Pietersen, England lost their first home series to Sri Lanka with a heavy defeat at Lord's. It felt like karma. For the main tour of the summer, India were greeted in Nottingham with a dismal pitch where the public (myself included) paid to watch James Anderson compile a Test best 81, and then (we later discovered) abuse and threaten an opposition player, only to be backed and exonerated by his captain, his coach, and his Board.

On the morning of the Lord's test, those who could face it, and afford it, turned on their TVs, rubbed their eyes, and blinked, and stared in disbelief. It was the greenest pitch anyone had seen or have seen since. It was indistinguishable from the lush green outfield. It was indistinguishable from the Sussex Downs. England had elected to generate some good news by handing their bowlers the most home friendly pitch that could be imagined. The ECB had been trying to cook up the perfect goldilocks pitch for some time. And would go on trying. With Anderson and Broad in the England side, and their bowlers in theirs, England had produced the most nakedly advantageous pitch conceivable.

As a nadir, this wasn't like watching England get ironed flat by Steve Waugh and ten other unblinking, sardonic Australians. Defeat then was depressing and inevitable. This added a new element of shame alongside a familiar note of haplessness. After winning the toss and putting India in, England couldn't have bowled worse, and admittedly Ajinkya Rahane (103) scored one of the best hundreds seen in the UK this century. In the second innings, after the verdant grass had parched and the pitch flattened, England were bounced out by Ishant Sharma (7-74) bowling 80mph bodyline.

If I can freeze an image of a losing England side, I tend to think of Alec Stewart bowled by a Shane Warne flipper in Adelaide, playing back and shaping to pull, a shot so ill advised he didn't actually play it. He just stood with his bat raised and watched the stumps kissed by the deceiving ball, utterly without hope. But Matt Prior pulling Ishant into the hands of Murali Vijay on the fence, having watched everyone else get out that way, would do nearly as well. For those who don't remember the nineties. At stumps Cook told the press that Prior could play for England for as long as he wanted. A remarkable thought even without the fact that Prior was playing with a career ending injury. He never played another Test.

It was a low.


http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/match/667713.html

[sussexpob]

You are showing a hidden talent for storytelling here, Arthur. Another interesting piece.

It wouldnt make my list, not because it wasnt worthy, but because by this stage I couldnt care less about England's chances. The aforementioned circus had people like me praying England would get beat, the worse the better, if only to bring on a radical overhaul and get those responsible "in the dock". All I remember of this game, one that I didnt really follow to its conclusion, was seeing Rahane play a belter. Id totally forgot about Ishant "The peashooter" running through England in the second digs.

Of all the 90s errors, nothing was worse than this period. I remember the 90s fondly, it was my growing up in the game, it didnt really matter that England lost a lot. We took the the Gough hat-trick like winning a world cup. Small victories meant a lot. Yet this team were built on winning. And they had to win at all costs, even if this meant restructing events to isolate fans, or to be openly insulting and be hostile to them.

I guess thats the biggest legacy of Flower. He sold the soul of cricketing culture in England to win, because thats what he thought was important.

[Arthur Crabtree]

Well, I didn't wish England well, but that was part of the low. I'd like to have felt happy to support them. This should be top five, but there was, as I say, a certain karma about their fortunes which made the outcome more welcome. It was dismal that England were unsupportable, but not that an unsupportable side encountered misfortune.