Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

[Durhamfootman]

After declaring the pitch at Turnton unfit for play for the second year running, the ECB decide to stamp out the practice of doctoring pitches by immediately imposing the full penalty deduction of 8 points........................... on Durham....... with no right of appeal

and then suspend the deduction until the first year that it looks as though they will gain promotion to division one

[Alviro Patterson]

BCCI demand a future England v India test to be played at Taunton

[Slipstream]

ECB announce a major new restructure of the county championship in order to deal with the problem of player burnout, by reverting to one division, extending the season to 17 CC games and making all counties play all their matches against Durham so they can win every game inside 2 days

this, they realise, will free up so much time in the county season that there will be scope to introduce 3 new competitions... the hundred, the eighty and the sixty..... with the possibility of the new super 6 where the whole 18 team competition will be played on one day at Trent Bridge.

Any county failing to beat Durham within the 2 days will be punished by a stiff fine and points deductions....................for Durham

[Arthur Crabtree]

In order that Joe Root might come to the crease with runs on the board and the shine off the ball, national selector Ed Smith stipulates that he must bat at number eleven.

[Durhamfootman]

after scoring a famous hundred in both innings of his final test match, Alistair Cook reverses his decision to retire, with the condition that he becomes captain again for one more ashes campaign down under

[Arthur Crabtree]

Cook made ODI captain.

[Durhamfootman]

Bell made T20I captain

[Arthur Crabtree]

Alastair Cook's plans to take up cricket commentary triggers a campaign to encourage him to cancel his retirement indefinitely.

[bigfluffylemon]

In an attempt to revive his test career, Ian Bell announces his retirement from red ball cricket.

[Durhamfootman]

Somerset avoid a points deduction because of a lack of evidence as to why their pitch was under-prepared

The Somerset groundsman stated that he sought to prepare the best possible pitch but heavy rain cost a day of preparation time. Then he couldn't prepare the pitch because his car ran out of gas... he had a flat tyre.....he didn't have enough money for the cab fare...... his tux didn't come back from the cleaners........an old friend came in from out of town......... someone stole his car..... there was an earthquake........a terrible flood........ locusts

It wasn't his fault..... "I SWEAR TO GOD!"

and who could possibly argue with that?

[Alviro Patterson]

Alec Stewart sends Ed Smith a drunken voicemail at 3am about the non-selection of Rory Burns for England's tour to Sri Lanka.

[Alviro Patterson]

Hobart Hurricanes sign Bob Willis for the Abu Dhabi T20 tournament

[Alviro Patterson]

Manchester City footballing sensation Kevin de Bruyne signs up for the Titans and leads them to Abu Dhabi T20 success by scoring the winning runs.

[Durhamfootman]

Man City footballing sensation Kevin de Bruyne fails in his bid for Abu Dhabi glory by holing out just as he was getting going, then claims it wouldn't have happened if he signed for a decent team like Yorkshire

[Alviro Patterson]

In an effort to beat the monsoon season, the final two Sri Lanka v England ODIs and T20i will be played in England