Shut your eyes and think of England.
Posted: Thu May 08, 2014 7:34 pm
If Paul Downton was in charge of the seven dwarfs, would he sack them for whistling while they work?
Not my joke, so it's ok that I laughed. Just the sort of comment that clusters around the media activity of the ECB since the re-whitewashing of the England side last winter. Every announcement seems to bring some new PR calamity, usually centred on Paul Downton. I've been so pissed off since Andy Flower got himself demoted to a more aloof position at HQ, with a fancier title, and since Downton found himself analysing the calamity of the winter and deciding that he really had only one decision to make. Sack Kevin Pietersen. Dropping is too good for him. As I was going to say, I've been too pissed off, to bother commenting. Plus I've been busy in the garden.
The press has played its part, like parents testily berating children who won't allow the treat of the odd victory, like a stick of candy from the jar, divert us from playing up to the patronising didacts at the ECB. We must pipe down, we are outside cricket.
Which has actually provoked little response on this board. That surprises me. And not just because we have been distanced from the national team by the ECB which sees itself as patricians of the national summer game, not the custodians (surprising, as every job is given to a wicket keeper). We've said little about Giles' (and Moores') management speak. Of Clarke's view that the workings of the ECB are of no interest to supporters. The undertaking of the press to only print the good news. The dodgy dossier. I can't remember a lot of this stuff. Just a general awareness of having been (as a long follower of our team) defecated upon. Time has passed sufficiently for many events to now appear an indistinct sludge of obfuscation and diversion. Words float by in the effluence, like 'disengaged' and 'stakeholder'.
And yet, the ECB is giving us incredible material. Downton seems like comedy gold, a man who only has to shuffle his papers to make everything worse. Like when he saw every ball at Sydney and felt that the only problem he had to confront was that KP appeared detached... That was after Sydney! And then seemed to tell his captain that he wasn't strong enough to deal with difficult players. Or when the ECB thought it was a good idea to make it look like it was Cook (who after Sydney was in no position to divert blame) who was the tough captain that told Gooch he had to go.
This could be an era reminiscent of the time of Lord Ted, when Malcolm Devon was in the side and Mars being in conjunction with Uranus was an explanation for defeat. It would be remiss not to offer some acknowledgement.
Not my joke, so it's ok that I laughed. Just the sort of comment that clusters around the media activity of the ECB since the re-whitewashing of the England side last winter. Every announcement seems to bring some new PR calamity, usually centred on Paul Downton. I've been so pissed off since Andy Flower got himself demoted to a more aloof position at HQ, with a fancier title, and since Downton found himself analysing the calamity of the winter and deciding that he really had only one decision to make. Sack Kevin Pietersen. Dropping is too good for him. As I was going to say, I've been too pissed off, to bother commenting. Plus I've been busy in the garden.
The press has played its part, like parents testily berating children who won't allow the treat of the odd victory, like a stick of candy from the jar, divert us from playing up to the patronising didacts at the ECB. We must pipe down, we are outside cricket.
Which has actually provoked little response on this board. That surprises me. And not just because we have been distanced from the national team by the ECB which sees itself as patricians of the national summer game, not the custodians (surprising, as every job is given to a wicket keeper). We've said little about Giles' (and Moores') management speak. Of Clarke's view that the workings of the ECB are of no interest to supporters. The undertaking of the press to only print the good news. The dodgy dossier. I can't remember a lot of this stuff. Just a general awareness of having been (as a long follower of our team) defecated upon. Time has passed sufficiently for many events to now appear an indistinct sludge of obfuscation and diversion. Words float by in the effluence, like 'disengaged' and 'stakeholder'.
And yet, the ECB is giving us incredible material. Downton seems like comedy gold, a man who only has to shuffle his papers to make everything worse. Like when he saw every ball at Sydney and felt that the only problem he had to confront was that KP appeared detached... That was after Sydney! And then seemed to tell his captain that he wasn't strong enough to deal with difficult players. Or when the ECB thought it was a good idea to make it look like it was Cook (who after Sydney was in no position to divert blame) who was the tough captain that told Gooch he had to go.
This could be an era reminiscent of the time of Lord Ted, when Malcolm Devon was in the side and Mars being in conjunction with Uranus was an explanation for defeat. It would be remiss not to offer some acknowledgement.