We'll Keep the White Flag Flying.

[rich1uk]

this thread is like a really depressing advent calendar AC

[Arthur Crabtree]

In theory, they should keep getting worse as we get closer to Christmas!

[rich1uk]

bah humbug !

[Arthur Crabtree]

11. Pakistan v England at the Gaddafi Stadium, Lahore. November, 1987

Pakistan won by an innings and 87 runs.

Even in the 1980s, tours to Asia were treated with suspicion. Visitors would return home with apocryphal stories of food poisoning, alien playing conditions and cultural misunderstandings with the local umpires. Ian Botham famously said Pakistan was the sort of place you would send your mother-in-law to. Though he only ever played one Test there, a defeat in 1984 in the historic and cosmopolitan city of Karachi.

And over the years, stories began to emerge of high handed behaviour by English tourists, most shamefully in 1956 when a local umpire, Idris Baig, was gagged and kidnapped by force by Donald Carr and six team mates and soaked with buckets of cold water; an incident among the most regrettable in the history of England tours, which was reported as 'banter' by the Times. So no doubt there was mistrust on both sides. And in 1987, Mike Gatting was charged with negotiating this most volatile and complex of tours. Botham was unavailable.

In the first Test at Lahore, England immediately came face to face with familiar grounds for confusion; mystery spin. Winning the toss, Gatting elected to bat first. He contributed a two ball duck, one of the brilliant leg spinner Abdul Qadir's nine first innings wickets (37-13-56-9). England were forced to spend the second day banging their heads in frustration against a wall of defence constructed by the impenetrable, intractable Mudassar Nazar, an opener who had exasperated them for ten hours scoring 114 in a stalemate in Lahore in 1977; not to draw the match, but in its first innings!

Leading by 217 once both had batted, on a pitch that didn't seem to be helping John Emburey and Nick Cook anything like as much as it had Qadir, the diminutive legspinner, supported by Tauseef Ahmed and Iqbal Qasim spun England out a second time for 130. Games were usually drawn in Pakistan at the time, partly due to shortened daylight hours and slow play. England had been flattened in four days.

None of which made the headlines. The game was played in a spirit of mutual antagonism. Future ICC Match Referee Chris Broad was given out caught after scoring 41 in three hours and refused to leave for about a minute. Just stood in the crease while Graham Gooch persuaded him to walk. Mike Gatting used his press conferences to accuse the umpires of unfair practice. Perhaps the main target for their complaints should be better known, Shakeel Khan. It has been suggested that England wouldn't take the field with Shakeel in the second Test at Faisalabad, and he was replaced by Shakoor Rana... whose aggressive and lamentable face off with Mike Gatting, produced a photograph that was sent around the cricket playing world and pretty near ended the tour.

The truth was that Pakistan were just a far better side. England results had held up against them up to this point, though they were helped by defections to World Series Cricket either side of 1980. But from the mid eighties onwards, England would have to learn to live with regular beatings from a generation of fine Pakistan sides. England wouldn't win a series against them for 18 years, until Graham Thorpe batted England to victory in the dusk of Karachi, while neutral umpire Steve Buckner kept the two sides out in the dark.


http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/match/63470.html

[Arthur Crabtree]

Next time on England's worst defeats we visit the noughties, and sweet revenge for Australia...

[Arthur Crabtree]

Meant to say, but forgot. Qadir's 9-fer is still the best innings figures ever against England.

Mailey, Tayfield and Murali are the only other bowlers to take nine.

Only he, Spofforth, Lillee, Warne and Murali have taken ten in a match four times against England.

[Durhamfootman]

Whether what Atherton did was actually cheating or not, it was incredibly naive and has arguably done long term damage to the image of the England team, and to the reputation of Atherton himself.

It was cheating, and whenever I hear him speak, on any subject, it's the first thing that springs to my mind

right up there with the ball biter

[Durhamfootman]

really surprised that the Gatting thing was 1987. Crikey... that's almost 30 years ago

doesn't seem possible

[Arthur Crabtree]

I read Athers' autobiography's description of the incident and he says there is nothing in the rules to say you can't have dirt in your pocket. and the umpires said that there was nothing wrong with the ball. But:
We only have his word for it that it was only dirt
and he lied to the match ref
and it was really stupid, even if that's all he did
and he brought suspicion on the side he captained.

If it was Afridi, or du Plessis who was explaining this away, I'd be dubious. It's feels partial to assume all was ok just because it was the clean-seeming Atherton. England were a bit paranoid about reverse swing at the time, and could quite easily have felt they were playing at a disadvantage because everyone was doing it (he says using 'resin' was the concern of the match ref).

[Durhamfootman]

somebody was caught in a county game a few years ago, scraping the match ball on concrete when retrieving a ball that had been hit out of the ground. Whilst less dramatic. the dirt in the pocket would surely have had the same effect over time

[Arthur Crabtree]

Athers said that he used the dirt to dry his hands to keep one side of the ball dry (rather than bend his bad back and rub his hand on the wicket). I remember that from the time, rather than from his book. But that doesn't address why he was rubbing the dirt on the ball. And it's not the same anyway, in the same way that rubbing your hand on a sweet and this rubbing it on the ball is not the same as sucking a sweet while shining the ball. Still, remember the umpires didn't find the ball altered.

[Arthur Crabtree]

Plenty of options to choose from in the 2006-7 Ashes, but I've gone for this one.


10. Australia v England at the Gabba, Brisbane. November, 2006.

Australia won by 277 runs.

Every England supporter knows that they didn't win the Ashes between 1986-7 and the glorious summer of 2005. In those 18 years, it actually felt that England would never beat Australia again. During the absolute rule of Steve Waugh, it became problematic to even speak of winning the Ashes. By pointedly repeating back England's pre-series ambitions after another heavy defeat, the ability to merely state a positive intention was undermined, the words drained of meaning. Like on Airstrip One under Big Brother, England lost the language that would allow them to conceive of their deliverance. They were only equipped with the words of failure. Steve Waugh robbed England of the ability even to dream.

Ricky Ponting continued this technique, which is one of the many reasons that 2005 was so unimaginably sweet. A kind of shrugging off of tyranny. A recovering of dignity. And perhaps a reason why it was only achieved with a side largely free from the indoctrination of Ashes defeat. England sobered up after the Oval knowing that in just 14 months they would have to defend their trophy. Such a short time. But long enough for the side to fall to pieces. England lost captain Michael Vaughan, plus Marcus Trescothick, and key bowler Simon Jones to injury. Ashley Giles had suffered a serious injury and unsuccessfully remodelled his action. Andrew Flintoff had been in and out of the side with an ankle injury, though was made captain for the tour.

After the 2005 win, England had struggled to rediscover the energy and inspiration of that summer. And Australia were scarily obsessed with reclaiming the Ashes back. The English press went for the unimaginative Dad's Army soubriquet, but it was a great Australia side that England had beaten and they were fixated on reasserting themselves. No one sane wants to lose to Matthew Hayden, but Justin Langer, who took the first ball of the series, looked like he'd been hypnotised. He had a hundred thousand yard stare. Against such compulsion, such monomania, England would have to be steadfast, and unblinkingly stand their ground. If England had the nerve not to take a backward step, it would be an exalted sporting contest.

Which is why Steve Harmison's opening ball of the series delivered into the hands of Flintoff at second slip is so symbolic. Tension had been twisted so tight you might scream. In an instant, it was released. That ball said England wouldn't stand their ground. England would be be intense and passionate and bursting with desire. But they would be overwhelmed, overawed and undisciplined. It was only one ball, but it told us everything we needed to know. And so it proved, again and again until Sydney where Langer, Glenn McGrath and Shane Warne retired with the Ashes regained, their supremacy restated and a 5-0 rout completed.

And if that isn't fair to the little pockets of resistance that broke out against the returning tide of Australian preeminence, from Pietersen, Hoggard and Collingwood, and the touching way an increasingly dishevelled Andrew Flintoff carried the whole attack for most of the series, it is the broad truth of it. Most emphatically, the spirit of Steve Waugh presided over the bloodletting. England had been publicly shamed for daring to dream, for their excessive celebrations, for trying. The great era of Duncan Fletcher was over, his decorated side was broken. And under the new coach Peter Moores, England were heading into another slump.

http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/match/249222.html

[Arthur Crabtree]

Next time... the late eighties and England are struggling against the West Indies again, on and off the pitch.

[rich1uk]

the 2006/7 ashes ?

cant remember those

[Arthur Crabtree]

Didn't pick Adelaide in case I was accused of making it up.