Cricket-Match-Special ... A forum for discussion

Barnstoneworth Utd.. now there was a team

Hagerty F, Hagerty R, Tomkins, Noble, Carrick, Dobson, Crapper, Dewhurst, MacIntyre, Treadmore and Davitt

They'd beat anybody, that lot

they'd take one look at the mystery spinner, acknowledge that he won't get any turn at all, play him straight and smack him out of the attack

no bother

"next!"

then cap it all by saying things at lunch like.... " How... Gunga Din.... pass the *modded* salt" and be banned from playing cricket for the rest of time

Glad you added that for the benefit of those who don't know the reference Durham!

Don't think I really got near how bad that tour was. Maybe someone can help.

Arthur Crabtree wrote:No hints needed for the top spot.

there are so many examples that you haven't mentioned that I probably do need a hint... unless it's the tash and England and the knee trembling batters shaking with fear and capitulating at the very first opportunity............ like France!

although it won't be Perth, because one chap stood up to be counted

surprised that didn't finish his career stone dead..... showing up the public schoolboys? nasty little kiwi oick.... not PLU darling... not PLU

that series might have been the first time a stump mic has picked up a batsman calling for his mummy

That series and the UAE one are the Red album and Blue album of England defeats.

Remarkable Stokes got the only ton of that series. For England.

perhaps Flower, Moores et al hadn't had enough time with him to teach the correct technique for sh1tting in your pants at the first sign of a setback.

You won't get far in English sport if you don't properly master the art of running around in maniacal fashion with johnny fartpants clouds coming out of the back of your shorts the moment the opposition do something that your coach hasn't written onto the back of your hand.

Stokes does that now, so he'll be fine.... one of the boys.... long career ahead of him.... tick appropriate box

What England got right on that tour was the menu. Not so much the other skills.

Barnstoneworth Utd would have taken one look at Johnno and killed themselves laughing at the big Southern Jessie with the daft tash and the suppressed mummy issues, then proceed to hit him out of the park... "take that, you big daft bollok.... and get a *modded* shave"

Neville Davitt would have finished things off by removing his toupee, polishing his shiny pate up a bit, and then reducing Johnno's nose to a bloody pulp by head butting him in the face in the toilets at half time

they knew how to respond to an Aussie attempt at intimidation in those days

The 'tache was for charity though. I feel Barnstoneworth should respect that.

I'm going to tweet a condemnation of Barnstoneworth Utd's lack of respect to those suffering from prostate cancer. I'm saddened. I'm not having it.

Most of Barnstoneworth's players have had prostate cancer, but they poked it in the eye, and went back to the bar

and it was only for charity in November.... after that he was just taking the ssip

Durhamfootman wrote:Most of Barnstoneworth's players have had prostate cancer, but they poked it in the eye, and went back to the bar

Fair enough, if that's true.

I'll send another tweet asking for calm.