Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

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Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

Postby Durhamfootman » Wed Sep 05, 2018 7:18 pm

After declaring the pitch at Turnton unfit for play for the second year running, the ECB decide to stamp out the practice of doctoring pitches by immediately imposing the full penalty deduction of 8 points........................... on Durham....... with no right of appeal

and then suspend the deduction until the first year that it looks as though they will gain promotion to division one
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Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

Postby Alviro Patterson » Wed Sep 05, 2018 11:09 pm

BCCI demand a future England v India test to be played at Taunton
"Stats are there to be broken" Dominic Cork
"They took all our players away, banned our captain and we still came away with a ten-wicket victory" Jason Gillespie
"You won't get anywhere slouching about half out of bed" Geoffrey Boycott


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Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

Postby Slipstream » Fri Sep 07, 2018 1:09 am

Durhamfootman wrote:ECB announce a major new restructure of the county championship in order to deal with the problem of player burnout, by reverting to one division, extending the season to 17 CC games and making all counties play all their matches against Durham so they can win every game inside 2 days

this, they realise, will free up so much time in the county season that there will be scope to introduce 3 new competitions... the hundred, the eighty and the sixty..... with the possibility of the new super 6 where the whole 18 team competition will be played on one day at Trent Bridge.

Any county failing to beat Durham within the 2 days will be punished by a stiff fine and points deductions....................for Durham


:mrgreen:
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Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

Postby Arthur Crabtree » Fri Sep 07, 2018 2:29 pm

In order that Joe Root might come to the crease with runs on the board and the shine off the ball, national selector Ed Smith stipulates that he must bat at number eleven.
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Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

Postby Durhamfootman » Fri Sep 07, 2018 3:44 pm

after scoring a famous hundred in both innings of his final test match, Alistair Cook reverses his decision to retire, with the condition that he becomes captain again for one more ashes campaign down under
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Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

Postby Arthur Crabtree » Fri Sep 07, 2018 3:45 pm

Cook made ODI captain.
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Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

Postby Durhamfootman » Fri Sep 07, 2018 3:46 pm

Bell made T20I captain
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Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

Postby Arthur Crabtree » Mon Sep 10, 2018 11:19 am

Alastair Cook's plans to take up cricket commentary triggers a campaign to encourage him to cancel his retirement indefinitely.
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Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

Postby bigfluffylemon » Tue Sep 11, 2018 10:19 am

In an attempt to revive his test career, Ian Bell announces his retirement from red ball cricket.
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Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

Postby Durhamfootman » Wed Sep 12, 2018 6:57 pm

Somerset avoid a points deduction because of a lack of evidence as to why their pitch was under-prepared

The Somerset groundsman stated that he sought to prepare the best possible pitch but heavy rain cost a day of preparation time. Then he couldn't prepare the pitch because his car ran out of gas... he had a flat tyre.....he didn't have enough money for the cab fare...... his tux didn't come back from the cleaners........an old friend came in from out of town......... someone stole his car..... there was an earthquake........a terrible flood........ locusts

It wasn't his fault..... "I SWEAR TO GOD!"

and who could possibly argue with that?
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Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

Postby Alviro Patterson » Fri Sep 14, 2018 11:14 pm

Alec Stewart sends Ed Smith a drunken voicemail at 3am about the non-selection of Rory Burns for England's tour to Sri Lanka.
"Stats are there to be broken" Dominic Cork
"They took all our players away, banned our captain and we still came away with a ten-wicket victory" Jason Gillespie
"You won't get anywhere slouching about half out of bed" Geoffrey Boycott


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Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

Postby Alviro Patterson » Fri Oct 05, 2018 2:41 pm

Hobart Hurricanes sign Bob Willis for the Abu Dhabi T20 tournament
"Stats are there to be broken" Dominic Cork
"They took all our players away, banned our captain and we still came away with a ten-wicket victory" Jason Gillespie
"You won't get anywhere slouching about half out of bed" Geoffrey Boycott


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Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

Postby Alviro Patterson » Sat Oct 06, 2018 11:50 pm

Manchester City footballing sensation Kevin de Bruyne signs up for the Titans and leads them to Abu Dhabi T20 success by scoring the winning runs.
"Stats are there to be broken" Dominic Cork
"They took all our players away, banned our captain and we still came away with a ten-wicket victory" Jason Gillespie
"You won't get anywhere slouching about half out of bed" Geoffrey Boycott


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Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

Postby Durhamfootman » Sun Oct 07, 2018 3:13 pm

Man City footballing sensation Kevin de Bruyne fails in his bid for Abu Dhabi glory by holing out just as he was getting going, then claims it wouldn't have happened if he signed for a decent team like Yorkshire
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Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

Postby Alviro Patterson » Thu Oct 18, 2018 1:55 am

In an effort to beat the monsoon season, the final two Sri Lanka v England ODIs and T20i will be played in England
"Stats are there to be broken" Dominic Cork
"They took all our players away, banned our captain and we still came away with a ten-wicket victory" Jason Gillespie
"You won't get anywhere slouching about half out of bed" Geoffrey Boycott


2011-12 Oz vs India Tests FL guru | 2012-13 Oz vs SA Tests FL guru | 2012-13 Bang vs WI combined FL guru | 2013 Friends Life T20 FL guru | 2015 The Ashes FL guru | 2015 County Championship D2 FL guru | 2016 Womens WT20 FL guru| 2016 Eng v Pak Tests FL guru | 2017 Kia Super League FL guru | 2018 County Championship D2 FL guru
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