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Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

PostPosted: Sun Jan 07, 2018 9:30 pm
by Durhamfootman
when everyone involved has retired and so won't have to do anything about it

Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

PostPosted: Sun Jan 07, 2018 10:52 pm
by Arthur Crabtree
Chilcott's remit to include what to do about Ben Stokes' assault charge.

Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

PostPosted: Mon Jan 08, 2018 9:45 am
by Alviro Patterson
In response to the record temperatures in Sydney, ECB announce schedule amendments to the 2019 Ashes series.

Emirates Durham Riverside will host the 4th test, a day/night match in the 2nd half of September.

Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

PostPosted: Mon Jan 08, 2018 1:17 pm
by Durhamfootman
Chilcot reports back in record time, after discovering that England only lost the ashes after a little bit of bad luck at a few key points in the series

Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

PostPosted: Mon Jan 08, 2018 1:19 pm
by from_the_stands
Durhamfootman wrote:Kevin Pietersen retires from all T20 cricket while he waits for 5 over cricket to be invented


It has been. The Hong Kong 6ers.

Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

PostPosted: Mon Jan 08, 2018 1:19 pm
by Durhamfootman
The world of cricket is rocked after revelations of state sponsored Russian interference in the England ashes squad selection process

Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

PostPosted: Mon Jan 08, 2018 1:22 pm
by Durhamfootman
Record numbers of signatures are received for an online petition to the ECB to change the England team's anthem from Jerusalem to 'send in the clowns'

Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

PostPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2018 12:53 am
by bigfluffylemon
ECB announces a five-point plan to regain the Ashes in 2019:

1. More T20. After all, more T20=more money, and more money=better England cricket, right? Right?
2. Invest in bionic technology to ensure James Anderson never retires
3. Clone Alastair Cook, as the only possible solution to who can open alongside Alastair Cook.
4. Every test to be played on a greentop. At Trent Bridge. What the hell, let's make them D/N tests.
5. Lean on the MCC to amend the Laws so that Nathan Lyon is declared a chucker

When asked what the plan was to win in Australia in 2021, the reply from Andrew Strauss was: 'no idea, it's not as though I'll still have a job then'.

Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

PostPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2018 2:44 pm
by from_the_stands
The ECB appeal to the ICC in the hope that they will introduce a new law limiting the number of Mitch's allowed in a team to one. "Personally, I'd like to see all Mitch's outlawed from the game," Kevin Peterson was quoted as saying.

Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

PostPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2018 9:26 pm
by Durhamfootman
ECB, under on-line petition pressure, do indeed drop Jerusalem as the England team anthem.......

replacing it with the Beautiful South's 'carry on regardless'

Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

PostPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2018 11:36 pm
by Alviro Patterson
Former test batsman Thilan Samaraweera announces that women in Sri Lanka are legally allowed to buy alcohol and work in licenced premises for the 1st time since 1955

Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2018 2:06 pm
by Durhamfootman
but not whilst out in the middle, batting for the Sri Lanka women's team

Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

PostPosted: Mon Jan 15, 2018 10:42 pm
by bigfluffylemon
Thousands of cricket fans now know the difference between an indictable offence and a summary one...

Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2018 2:51 pm
by andy
All t20 franchise leagues are closed down due to overkill (wishful thinking i know)

Re: Predict a Cricket Headline for 2018

PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2018 11:41 pm
by Durhamfootman
Dave Warner being considered for the title role in the new Bobby Thompson biopic.... 'the little waster'